25 Things I Wish You Knew: Introduction

 

No one talks about mental illness. No one talks about the fact that something isn't quite healthy in your thought process or in your reality, like they would talk about cancer. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about it and so, we don't. If we don't talk about it, how can anyone know what you struggle with? How can anyone know that what they are doing effects you in a certain way? How can anyone know to help so you don't have to fight so hard, alone?

If I had cancer, I would feel like I could tell my family and friends. If I had an off day, they would understand. They would take me to my treatments, if I was unable. I wouldn't be shamed for getting the treatments I needed so I could live a fuller life with them. Some of them may even research new treatments or natural ways to help with the effects of treatments and cancer. 

I don't have cancer.

I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Only those who are closest to me know. They know, but we don't talk about it or how the trauma has effected my thought process, my way of living, my perspective. It is the constant elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge. 

I don't have cancer.

I feel alone, most days. This makes it difficult to have a "good" day because I feel as if I am not allowed to talk about my struggles. My struggles are different than, I feel, most people. I am trying to learn how to get out of survival mode and to start thriving. How can I do that when I cannot have a conversation and know which part isn't quite right? 

I don't have cancer.

It has taken me a couple of weeks to really understand what I want to do, here. I have compiled a list of 20 things I wish you knew about me and C/PTSD. It is still growing, which is why I say 25 things. It may grow beyond that. Each one will appear in a different post, some may meld together. I don't want to simply list them for you. I want to help you understand each one.

I don't have cancer. I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.